My brain says no but my pants say off.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
