I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize