girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Boobs speak an international language.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
