I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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