I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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