We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
