while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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