im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
