laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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