Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
