just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
