I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You are a genius and a whore.
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