I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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