A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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