i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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