WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
