sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
