Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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