I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
