I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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