You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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