You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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