I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
id be glad to
Soap is not a condiment
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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