I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
