Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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