I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
