i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
