Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize