she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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