So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
