there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He felt like a one man threesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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