These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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