just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
