So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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