sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we made out on top of his cat.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
