So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
