Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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