Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
