my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
