What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize