I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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