it was like eating out sand paper
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
