The maid of honor just puked.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
bring money and cleavage
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
