you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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