i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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