I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
