I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
