NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize