just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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