i don't like sucking hair
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
