Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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