Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
