the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
