i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
