I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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