people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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