We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
