The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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