I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
