Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
